SPOILER ALERT BELOW!
You’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you/get your vibe. Simply, because.
This was (and sometimes still is) a rough reality for me to accept. Especially in my late teens and early twenties. I’d practically bend over backwards and into a pretzel shape just to win someone over. Yikes, right? But all this so-called “people-pleasing” was a desperate attempt to overcompensate for what was really going on inside.
Deep down, I was afraid. Terrified, even—of what people thought. My worst nightmare?
Three little words: “you’re not enough”.
A handful of not-so-great relationships had continually reinforced this same message. Sooner or later, I started believing the lie too… which then fueled this tendency to perform for my peers’ approval.
Here’s what I (eventually) realized: No, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. And I’m never going to be. So I don’t need to subscribe to some edition of what everyone else might want to see. Love it or hate it, I’m finally learning to embrace “me”. No permission needed!
Here’s what I (eventually) realized: No, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. And I’m never going to be. So I don’t need to subscribe to some edition of what everyone else might want to see.
People-pleasers, myself included, share this FEAR of rejection. And it’s no wonder the Bible states “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety” (Proverbs 29:25). We will chase after affirmation indefinitely when we allow what others think/say to determine our worth and self-confidence. It’s a lose-lose!
But when we embrace our identity in Christ, that deep desire to be “liked” can be replaced with accepting we are ALREADY loved. Then, we really don’t need to look elsewhere for validation.
Ask yourself: Do I struggle with people-pleasing? When was the last time I was guilty of caring “too much” about what someone thought?
Here are some verses that have encouraged me in my journey…
- “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23).
- “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).
What’s been on your heart these days? Leave a comment below—I’d love to hear!
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This really speaks to me. Thank you for sharing this relatable post and for encouraging everyone to do the best they can.